One man's insight into today's current events

Archive for the tag “online editorial”

Getting a Grip

We’ve experienced some disturbing events of late in our great Nation.  What is even more disturbing are the ways in which the powers- that-be have attempted to use these events as leverage to promote teetering agendas.  But these attempts have failed.  The Washington Establishment has become frustrated to the point of distraction.  When politicos fail to get what they want, they become expulsive.  Like malevolent children, they throw things at us.  In the wake of the Boston tragedy, they realized they failed to protect the American public once again, while inflicting untoward damage on our common freedoms.  It is at times like this that the Washington Establishment, abetted by those in the media, tend to hurl huge “things” at us, one would guess out of  the need to let off steam.  Through their bourbons-darkly, they apparently see “The People” as those “out there” who just don’t get the complexities of it all.  So they come up with such things as “Taxing the Internet.”  One about to be subjected to electroshock could undoubtedly see the logic of it all.  As for the rest of us, we just don’t get the “wisdom” in it.  It is much like Dorothy’s visit to the Emerald City in the Wizard of Oz.  It is the same disconnect.

Now the spinsters are trying to say, in essence, that the sky is falling.  But is it really falling?  They say we are all stressed out, and becoming unhinged.  Of course, these conditions do not exist in the Beltway.  Heaven, forbid.  

Expect other “things” to be hurled at you, Giant-atop-the-Beanstock style.  More taxes, hidden and otherwise.  More privacy intrusions.  More fiery rhetoric about those “other Americans,” outside the Beltway.

If only we had Dorothy’s ruby shoes.

The Ten Dumbest Questions Asked by the Dumbest Earthlings

In my travels, I hear some incredibly intelligent statements made by college grads, as well as those who have never gone to college.  Intelligence is intelligence.  Stupid is just stupid.

I’ve come up with some really, really, really dumb questions asked by Neanderthals living among us.  These are the Top Ten:

1.   Will my cellphone and PlayStation work after a nuclear war ?

2.   Can I still get my beer after a nuclear war ?

3.   Will I still get a government check after a nuclear war ?

4.   If my lawnmower is out of gas, will it run if I “THINK GREEN” ?

5.   Will I go to Heaven if I don’t smoke ?

6.   If I give up my guns, will I be FREE ?

7.   If I’m really, really nice to communists and fascists, will they let me keep my house ?

8.   If there is a nuclear war, do I have to take my finals ?

9.   When I get “hit” in a war-simulation video game, will I be awarded a Purple Heart ?

10.  If I drive a car I can’t afford, does that make me rich ?

America, Unite !

When American citizens “back in the day” took typing classes, they trained on a phrase that goes like this:  “Now is the time for all good Americans to come to the aid of their country.”

It is now time for all good Americans to come to the aid of their country.

We are being threatened by communist bullies in North Korea who do not think like you and me.  They are sociopaths.  Mad men.  Rabid dogs.  One cannot negotiate with such “people.”  This “coexist” thing going around today is mindless apathy.

It is time to put your flag out in front of your home, apartment or erstwhile dwelling and commit yourself to the defense of this country.  Disregard the silly propaganda paraded around on the Net.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the Net.  But employ critical thinking, intellect, logic, common sense.

Resist divisive rhetoric.  Resist false claims.  Resist ridiculous propaganda paraded forth by lunatics.

Perhaps, the North Koreans are bluffing.  Our Secretary of  Defense doesn’t think so.  He is taking the North Koreans very seriously.   Whether one is a Democrat or Republican or Libertarian or Whatever, one needs to realize that freedom is, in fact, not free.

I recall the Cuban Missile Crisis.  It was not a fun time.  I lived in a city that was a primary target.  People back then, at least, talked of “current events,” unlike today, with some seeking to run from the  truth.

We can only have Faith that things will work out, but in the meanwhile remain vigilant.

The New Fascism

In tribute to Mayor Bloomberg, who has single-handed spawned the real-life remake of  ” Escape From New York,” I feel compelled to elevate his agenda to an “11.”  From this moment forward:

1.   No one will be allowed to display more than 15 bumper stickers on their auto;

2.   Those who hate cigarette smokers will be required to smoke 60-ring gauge double-maduro cigars for a period of one year;

3.   Those who like Willie Nelson will be required to listen to AC/DC non-stop at the nearest reeducation center;

4.   Those who spit on military veterans will be summarily executed;

5.   Those who espouse vague philosophies will be required to return to the third grade;

6.   Those who have no idea what I’m saying right now will be required to ingest a double-espresso;

7.   Everyone will be required to enjoy a Big Gulp under the auspices of the local police;

8.   Anyone who actually enjoys movies put out by Hollywood today will be required to have a lobotomy;

9.   Momma Boys will be required to pay for their own Humvee;

10.  Those who yak all day on cell phones will henceforth have to listen to themselves in an isolation chamber;

11.  Those who don’t play their stereos loud enough will forever be dubbed nerds.

See ya.




Welcome Adversity

Adversity builds character.

When’s the last time you heard that?

The propensity of things these days might be so stilted that one could imagine those donning NFL helmets to venture forth into their backyards to prune a rose bush, lest they fall and suffer a severe concussion.  Yes, skateboarders are brats, but there is surely something in the Aristotelian “middle” that can get some successfully through LIFE.

Folks who survived the Dust Bowl (no, Notre Dame was not playing Alabama that year), went on to become successful.  Very few, however, who have attained an “expert marksman” ranking on the latest virtual-war video game have gone on to attain such status; instead, more than likely, they have ended up with a pink slip in hand and a speeding ticket protruding from their mouths.

This is not to say one should “invite”  adversity, but embrace it if it comes your way.

A Standardized Test: Surviving 21st-Century America

There are many forms of torture, the most heinous being standardized testing.  Most terrifying are the ACT, SAT, GRE and LSAT.   My condolences go out to the many who have been subjected to these mental pat-downs.  To those who have somehow avoided these travesties, you are to be congratulated for refusing to remove your hat in front of a computer screen.  Most of these byzantine exercises contain a section devoted to convoluted analogies, to which survivors still suffering from post-traumatic stress will attest.  These analogies go something like this:  red, airplane: (fill in the blank), (fill in blank).  In this case, the words “color” and “transportation” are the correct keywords, chosen by the human guinea pig  from a short list of possible answers. That is to say, red is to airplane as color (red) is to transportation (airplane).

Following in the tradition of post-modern education in America today, the following standardized test is provided with the correct answers ahead of time, providing the test-taker with an automatic sense of entitlement.


Republican, Democrat: rattlesnake, black widow

Politician, Lobbyist: Fox, Sheep’s Clothing


American Foreign Policy, White House Statement: Tornado, Clear Skies


Bureaucracy, Truth: Bull, China Shop (not to be confused with sweat shops condoned by bureaucracy in the country of China).


Pres. Barack Obama, Pres. Abraham Lincoln: Lump of Coal, Diamond


TSA, Airline Passenger: Swine Flu, Death Camp Survivor


Stimulus, Jobs: Quid Pro Quo, Fewer


Government, Media: Cobra, Asp


State Department, Pentagon: Employer, Employee


War in Afghanistan, World War II: Vietnam, “Mission Accomplished”


Hopefully, this short test will provide you with understanding when confronted by government entities, much like the “universal translator” employed by the crew of the USS Enterprise when encountering strange life forms throughout the universe.  Best of  luck, and may God be your copilot.  

Is Washington Irrelevant???

It’s official.  Nancy Pelosi has  announced she is bored.  Boy, do we have news for her.  Americans have been bored with Washington for years.   Now that the control freaks in D.C. have damaged individuals so severely through drug-induced legislation, what’s a girl to do?  Perhaps a new hairdo?  Our CongressPERSONS have binged on every “party favor” known to mankind, while their puppet  generals have become Chippendale models on Twitter and the smart ones left holding the fort can’t get a date.  One can certainly understand Ms. Pelosi’s dilemma.  Perhaps it’s time for the ghosts of  Emily Post, Ambrose Bierce and General George Patton to perform pantomimes on the Potomac.  Somebody needs to teach children the meaning of decorum.

Congress wide view copy

This Makes No Census To Us

Just as my wife gets out of the hospital, we get hit with a Census Form in the mail.  You know, those annoying dissertation-length,  grab-all-the-information-about-you, pandemic,  problematical incursions into one’s private life.  The questions on these forms were surely conspired by a group of deviant, wife-swapping, coke-snorting, imbibing, drooling gentlemen with IQs averaging 100 (on a good day, with the winds swirling just right and the  sun shining just right off the rear bumpers of their matched BMWs).  Pause.  Why do we need a census?  Wouldn’t it be much easier to create a CONSENSUS among the American public, who are overworked, overtaxed and over-scrutinized?

If the folks in Washington would worry less about us and be more concerned with their own deportment, we might actually get this train wreck, about-to-happen, off the fiscal cliff.

Census or spy

Insurrection On The Mount

So let me get this straight.  Ms. Clinton waves some greenbacks in Egyptian El Presidente Morsi’s  face, allowing the “bad guys” to further arm Hamas so we  (in the name of the American Public)  can have an “accord” and “cease fire,” while our Generals, West Point to the man, present their “guns” to girls who work for God- knows- who as our fleet of  Mayflowers go adrift in the Middle East to “aid American citizens in the region.”  This sounds so like LPs  we’ve listened to before that have warped so badly under the Sun.

Now “we” have the Fourth Reich established in Egypt, with a quid pro quo guaranteed by Uncle Sam, while the young ones in Egypt just want a job.  Meanwhile, back in the Holy Land of America, people are knifing those who cut in line at the local Walmart during the media-behemoth-produced  Black Friday.  A bus gets bombed in Israel while a bratty bratwurst gets the best damned deal on a 46-inch LCD TV.  Now that’s what I call an Insurrection on the Mount.

Election Fatigue Grips America !!!

Many have told me they feel as if they’ve been plunked into a time-dilating Black Hole this election season.  I don’t want to say that this thing seems to be dragging on forever, but I met a guy waiting to cast a ballot at his local precinct who was for Grover Cleveland !?!  There was this other guy who couldn’t stand it any longer and jumped out the window of his penthouse in the Upper Eastside of  NYC.  The last thing he said, before hitting the pavement, was, “It’s George W. Bush’s fault !”  Of course, this has all led to the inevitable gallows humor such as:  “What do you call 100 political pundits at the bottom of the sea?”  Answer:  “A good start.”

I don’t know about all this, but I do know I’ve grown a bit weary myself, and I LOVE politics.  Maybe there is something to this Black Hole thing.  Didn’t they “capture” the “god particle” at CERN?  All I know is the American public gets no respect, you know?  The public has to put up with sycophants kissing their babies and, in the end, they find out their kid isn’t going to get Social Security.

Well, like they say, what doesn’t kill us will make us stronger.

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