One man's insight into today's current events

The New Fascism

In tribute to Mayor Bloomberg, who has single-handed spawned the real-life remake of  ” Escape From New York,” I feel compelled to elevate his agenda to an “11.”  From this moment forward:

1.   No one will be allowed to display more than 15 bumper stickers on their auto;

2.   Those who hate cigarette smokers will be required to smoke 60-ring gauge double-maduro cigars for a period of one year;

3.   Those who like Willie Nelson will be required to listen to AC/DC non-stop at the nearest reeducation center;

4.   Those who spit on military veterans will be summarily executed;

5.   Those who espouse vague philosophies will be required to return to the third grade;

6.   Those who have no idea what I’m saying right now will be required to ingest a double-espresso;

7.   Everyone will be required to enjoy a Big Gulp under the auspices of the local police;

8.   Anyone who actually enjoys movies put out by Hollywood today will be required to have a lobotomy;

9.   Momma Boys will be required to pay for their own Humvee;

10.  Those who yak all day on cell phones will henceforth have to listen to themselves in an isolation chamber;

11.  Those who don’t play their stereos loud enough will forever be dubbed nerds.

See ya.





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